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06 June 2006 @ 02:05 am
Such an Odd Night...  
I was compelled to update before I crawl in the bed of the greatest man I have ever met. It's funny how a day can remind you of how great your life is at the end of it.

The end of the day, not the life :)

And so it was such a strange day I needed to get stuff out before I cawled into that soft bed with that great man.

I don't know if I got this out well during the day, but I'm really sorry to everyone who was hurt by Vanessa. Not that I'm apalogizing for her, its just that I was around most of you, and I don't know if I convayed how sorry I felt about it to you. Hurting sucks. If anyone wants to talk, here I am. My cell is actualy functioning now (yey)!

Work was a joy simply because it involved time with Nick (and Olga's soup)! The meeting went well.

I'm sorry to Sean and Rob if I was a bit put-off-ish late in the evening. Still only going on a few hours sleep from D&D on Sunday.

Sean, I want to be suportive, but I hope you can understand, that I will not cave to preasure when I'm asked to do something that I find myself increadibly uncomfortable with. I don't want to be a bitch, but the harder you push me to do things I don't want, the more resistant I will become. Particuluarly when you tell me that I "can't escape" it next time.

Yes, I can.

I won't be controlled by others. I don't like being forced, or convinced, or repetedly persuaded to do things that I just don't want to do. This includes Scary Movies/ Video Games, Haunted Houses, and Places I'm Uncomfortable going. And the more manipulated I feel, the nastier I get.

Alight that bit out of the way, I hope you don't hate me. Because I don't hate you for what happened tonight. I know you needed to do what you needed to do. This was an emotional day for you. I don't mind waiting, I just hope you will respect me when I tell you I'm uncomfortable in the future.

I love you. I want to be there for you. I want you to let me in enough to help you though this. I care about you, and if I hurt you with my maner this evening I hope this post clears up why. Lets start fresh tomarow.

On the way home from Nicks (where I had a great time watching The Proffesional) the car in front of me hit A ROOSTER. I had to swerve to avoid hitting its mate. However, I was showered by this somewhat beautiful rain of black feathers, illuminated by the moonlight, that was all that was left of the Rooster.

Now thats a strangly symbolic way to end an emotional evening. A hen is alone tonight, wandering near the lake, without her mate.


I however will be snuggleing up to my rooster this evening. And after getting all this out, I think I'm ready for it.
 
 
Current Mood: tiredExhasted
 
 
 
illusorygaze on June 6th, 2006 07:15 am (UTC)
i'm sorry, i didn't realize i was being pushy
Celestrincelestrin on June 6th, 2006 03:44 pm (UTC)
Thats ok, like I said, lets start fresh. It was a long, tire emotional day.

And today isn't.

Luxv ya
said patientcunthwallis on June 6th, 2006 03:46 pm (UTC)
i'm wearing pants.
hugs!
Celestrincelestrin on June 6th, 2006 03:47 pm (UTC)
I doo~ love pants.