Hey, Extra's (a British TV shows where acters do self paradies) is the greates show EVER.

I shall elaborate upon my pro Gabby post a bit. She is by far the cutest girl I've ever seen. One of the only (besides possibly Diana) that I would seriously love to jump on. Gabby came into work today with Jenny (also very sweet and cute) and they hung out for lik 4 hours and even went to lunch with me. Gabby was trying to come up with ways to make $300 in 2 days, and prostitution was the best any of us could think of.I offered her $100 for sex (I'dve done it, damn she's hot)and she called Steve but he said no so... I got no Gabby ass and she still needs money. Ah well. I'm still going to party with her tonight, maybe she will get drunk enough to make out with me, sense she seemed down for the dikeout.

Wish me luck.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.6
Mind:	6.4
Body:	5
Spirit:	4.1
Friends/Family:	5.3
Love:	7.7
Finance:	7.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

The financial thing is so not true it actualy hurts.

Gabby came to work and made my day. Hottest girl ever.

hmblah

writing center will call me... keep aplication on file... liked me but not enough open spaces... BAHGH.


Whateve

whining.

The things that you insist you are over the most are the ones that bother you the most.

If I were over it, I wouldn't care. Or insist. It would just be done.

If I were over it I would stop finding them online and reading how they are.

If I were over it I would stop hating myself.

If I were over them this post wouldn't be hapening.

If I were over them I would be as terrible as I really am.

But I'm not. I never will be. And I can't do anything about it.

I'm going to go back to pretending to be over it now.

What do you say when your over it?

Nothing, and thats how I know I'm not.

Loveya.


I wish that my life didn't suck as thuroly as it usualy does. School is such a pain, I can't wait till I'm done.

And so, yeah I still exist.

As a sort of backward recap, these last months have sucked. My boyfriend Randy's mother died. She had been battling leukemia for the last 3 years. I loved her dearly and her loss had been hard on everyone.

I've been playing FF12, when I have the spare time.

Work has been tough but the money has been better so that helps.

I love my friends who have helped me through the hell I've been living in.

School is almost over, what will I do with my life?

I now know I can:
Cook an entire thanksgiving dinner
Work a 14hr shift
Sleep for 13hrs after 2 shot of NyQuil
stop while driving my car (yea for new breaks)
drink for horses (yea for Mary's birthday)
dance in a hip hop fashion show after party (thank to the aforementioned birthday)
Cry and laugh about death and life while basting a turkey
be yelled at and not fall apart


I love you guys. Thanks for making me OK.

EVERYTHING SUCKS.

I needed to get up early today, and now it's 10:30 and I'm ruined.

F-everything.

I hate Will. He has been gone "out to [his] car" for the last freaking 45min. That is after the hour lunch he took. I'm leaving as soon as he gets back in cause I'm sick of all this crap.

Credit cards are terrible, and I'm gunna have to start living to my current funds. I've dug myself out of my last hole, and have now vowed to never do it again. I'm moving the card to the back of my wallet and it is for absolute, traped in the D, gunna be raped emergencies.

I have no money. Stuff sucks.

Anyway... Whateve.

My intrests collage

( My Interests Collage! )

Had such a great time last night. Here are some pics:

I'm looking for a short novel that I read in elementry school. It centered around two sisters and their family who had just moved into the countryside. The older sister, who's name may or maynot be Molly (can't remember but it sounds right) had some type of nondisclosed illness (though we are led to believe that it is cancer). She wakes up at night with nose bleeds and other mysterious ailments. Their mother is making a quilt with the older sisters first bra in it. The younger sister meet a neighbor who is a photographer with a dark room. The older sister dies.

What is the name of this book. It escapes me!

So I think I am going to orginize a Friday the 13th party at my place. I'm gonna make it costume optional, but there might be a costume contest. Scary movies, scary apitizers, and BYOB. Mayhaps I'll make up invetations, but everyone should just come.

AaNnDd I'm really excited about Lisa changing the date on her party. I promise we will make it worth your while sweet pea!

I'm getting highspeed wireless internet at my house tomorow (I know, right?)I'm very excited about it. I bought this router/modom combo thing for like $139. WHATEV~

I'm getting super burnt out from work and school. I have a shit ton of homework and no brain cells left to do it with.

ok bye.

I CAN FOXTROT!

Yay for dancing lessons. I had such a freaking good time. LOVED IT!

Can't wait to go again.

Sean is back! He is currently looking VERY uncomfortable helping a little old lady find a kerioki machine. Either she has 5 million questions, or is currently regailing him with her life story, I can't tell from this distance.

All is well. I'm tired. Randy and I are starting dance lessions tonight and I'm very excited about it! I can't wait! We are going to tear up the floor. The class is called "Wedding and Social Dance" so now we will look amazing when we go out together and while attending my friend Shanyn's wedding. I love loving love!

Anyway, see ya.

YEYEYEYEYEY! I got my student loan check!!!

The only thing that sucks is that it comes endorsed to both me and OU. Then there is a series of what I like to call "rigamaroll" in which I have to wait another couple days for OU to verify it, then call me, then cut me a new check minuse tuition costs, which I take it to the bank, the bank validates it, which takes another couple days, before it is actualy in my account.

So even though I had the check in my hand, I wont have the money for another week and a half at least... But oh well! ITS HERE! Thats all that matters. Now I need to call and put it in forbarence. YEy... wait... thats not exciting at all...

Sean hasn't answered his phone or called me back the 2 times I've tried to check on him. I hope all is well...

I'm glad for Diana, meeting people and finding her way around. Hang in there chicka!

I'm supper tired, but not nearly as much so as Nick who has been working back to back 12 hour shifts since monday. He hasn't had a day off since last Tuesday. He's worked open to close every day since Saterday. Thankfuly we have worked together, so he got to duck out an hour early last night. I think he should leave early tonight as well because he is starting to look sickly tired.

I've had long days as well. School and work every day except firday and saterday, which I still have school (just not both). No real days off. Saterday I will be ducking out of class early and going with Randy's work to the Renisance Festivel. That will be great fun.

So yeah, been spending energy worrying about Sean. Menengitus FREAKS ME OUT. I almost died from bacterial that became spinal, and my friend Megan died from Viral that went undiagnosed. Acctualy they diagnosed her with mono, so I supose she was rather misdiagnosed then undiagnosed. Then she got worse, put in the hospital, and just... died. People our age aren't supposed to die. It's wrong. So yeah I ended up panicing on Robin cause she was the first person that I got ahold of before I could find Sean. Then I went to the doctor ASAP becase I was told to stay away from menengitus due to a sensitivity I picked up from nearly dieing from it. I then called Robin back and confused her by telling her symptoms, and that I was ok, and then her answering machine cut out before I could tell her I still hadn't found Sean. I wanted to talk to her today but she was a Meijer when I went to Nicks...

So other then that all is well. I called my doctors office today and they told me viral menegitus wasn't contagious, but then the nurse added "but if I were you I wouldn't go near him". So I'm gunna stay away from him at least a week. She sort of said while he was on drugs, but I'm gunna see whats up with him after a week and go from there. I thought about sanitizing my house but he hasn't been there in a while so I wont start boiling things. Can you tell I'm neruotic about disease.

I'magunna make him a cardy card since I won't be able to see him for like, a week at least. I hope he doesn't try to overdo. When your sick like that, your body needs the rest, no matter how restless it makes your mind. You have a CPU and a TV so just enjoy a week off. I know nothing is enjoyable wilst sick, but take the time anyway. In a way I'm kinda glad that nurse told me not to be 'round him because it will keep him at home to recover and not here making himself more sick. Mayhaps I'll make him a CD to help pass the time. And just think, you have breath of fire now! Yey for stuff to do.

REST AND GET BETTER DAMN YOU.

So I'm in school for 18 credit hours this semester.
And at work for 30ish.
And maintaining a relationship with my boyfriend.
And an apartment.
And currently my sanity, though I'm sure that's hanging on by a thread.

Alright, as the title eludes, this will be my first deep journal entry in a while.

First love:
Well I know it gets old to hear, but I do still have the greatest man in the world. He loves me and holds me and cares about my opinions. We just signed the lease together again, which means we have now lived together for 2 years. I've never been as happy in my life as I am when he says he loves me.

When I turned 18, I inherited my Grandmothers wedding ring. I've worn it everyday since, on my ring finger (wedding ring finger) because that is the only one it fit on. However about a week ago, the prongs got lose and the head cracked. I decided to store it rather then risk losing the diamond. My mother offered to fix it and get it back to me, but I've decided that the next diamond I ware will be from Randy. Hopefully withing the next year. At least that's the plan for now.

On life:
Work and school. Lather, rinse, repeat. I will really miss Diana when she goes. Spending time with her these last few months make me feel like I really missed out not hanging around her in high school. I really hope tonight turns out well. And that she has a safe trip and a fun time.

I got approved for my student loans (ON MY OWN YEY!~). I should be getting the money in the next 2-3 weeks. I can't wait. I need to pay bills and buy clothes and get stuff looked at on my car.

School is very busy this semester. I have at least 1 class EVERY day except Sunday. It is making for a bit of a tough time. Though it is only the second week so I shouldn't really complain. However here I am. Still no end in sight.

On sleep deprivation:
So with so many hours of work and school I have given myself very little time for sleep. Tonight will be tough because I was up at 4am to get a paper done before class. I was in my first class at 8, my second at 10, and in the library doing work until 1:30. I then headed straight to work. I'm here from 2-9. Then we are going out to Luna (prolly till 2am). LONGDAY.

Anyway, all is well. Hope it is with you too.

Blah to everyhting now that school has started anew. I'm really tired, very bored, and awake at 7:57 AM. Thankfuly I have my all to trusty laptop back and in working form. Yeah for wifi!

Nothing much new going on now though. Randy and I will be starting dance lessions at the end of this month (CANT WAIT). We are taking a class at our local comunity center called "wedding: begining social". Not that we are getting maried (right now) we just want to be able to dance socialy and not look akward. Of course once you've had enough to drink it will look akward no matter what, but then, it also matters less.

Alright, gunna pay attention now to class.